{"id":1000,"date":"2026-02-04T14:05:57","date_gmt":"2026-02-04T19:05:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=1000"},"modified":"2026-02-04T14:05:58","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T19:05:58","slug":"my-roommate-practiced-her-flirting-on-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=1000","title":{"rendered":"My Roommate Practiced Her Flirting \u2014 On Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI have a date tomorrow,\u201d she announced. \u201cI need rehearsal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cFor what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She changed her posture instantly \u2014 voice lower, eyes heavier, movements unhurried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cEye contact first,\u201d she said, demonstrating \u2014 on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cThen proximity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">She stepped in until I had to lean back against the counter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou\u2019re overdoing it,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cAm I?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her fingers hooked lightly at my waistband \u2014 not pulling, just testing reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou\u2019re very responsive for a practice audience,\u201d she noted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cI didn\u2019t volunteer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cYou didn\u2019t leave either.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI have a date tomorrow,\u201d she announced. \u201cI need rehearsal.\u201d \u201cFor what?\u201d She changed her posture instantly \u2014 voice lower, eyes heavier, movements unhurried. \u201cEye contact first,\u201d she said, demonstrating \u2014 on me. \u201cThen proximity.\u201d She stepped in until I had to lean back against the counter. \u201cYou\u2019re overdoing it,\u201d I said. \u201cAm I?\u201d Her [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1001,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1000"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1002,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1000\/revisions\/1002"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1001"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}