{"id":1006,"date":"2026-02-04T14:06:45","date_gmt":"2026-02-04T19:06:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=1006"},"modified":"2026-02-04T14:06:46","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T19:06:46","slug":"she-said-the-door-sticks-then-didnt-try-to-open-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=1006","title":{"rendered":"She Said the Door Sticks \u2014 Then Didn\u2019t Try to Open It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The dressing room latch clicked and jammed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cOld building,\u201d she said, not sounding concerned at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We stood facing the mirror \u2014 too close, reflections giving us away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019ll be a minute,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cNo rush,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her hands smoothed my jacket shoulders \u2014 once \u2014 twice \u2014 unnecessary but careful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou clean up well,\u201d she added softly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re very calm for being stuck.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She met my eyes in the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m exactly where I intended to be.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The dressing room latch clicked and jammed. \u201cOld building,\u201d she said, not sounding concerned at all. We stood facing the mirror \u2014 too close, reflections giving us away. \u201cWe\u2019ll be a minute,\u201d I said. \u201cNo rush,\u201d she replied. Her hands smoothed my jacket shoulders \u2014 once \u2014 twice \u2014 unnecessary but careful. \u201cYou clean up [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1007,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1006"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1008,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1006\/revisions\/1008"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}