{"id":552,"date":"2025-12-06T17:45:56","date_gmt":"2025-12-06T22:45:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=552"},"modified":"2025-12-19T03:44:49","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T08:44:49","slug":"a-man-walks-into-a-bar-and-instantly-regrets-talking-to-the-waitress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=552","title":{"rendered":"A man walks into a bar, and instantly regrets talking to the waitress"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A man walks into a bar after work and sits down in front of the prettiest waitress he\u2019s ever seen.<br>She smiles like she already knows he\u2019s about to embarrass himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cRough day?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cRough enough that I could use something strong,\u201d he replies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She leans forward, puts her hand on the bar and whispers,<br>\u201cOh, I\u2019ve got plenty of strong options.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The man nearly chokes on the air he hasn\u2019t even breathed yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Trying to be smooth, he says, \u201cWhat would you recommend\u2026 personally?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She pauses, looks him dead in the eye, and says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cA glass of water. Start slow, tiger.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The entire bar bursts into laughter, and the man realizes\u2026<br>he didn\u2019t even get his drink yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man walks into a bar after work and sits down in front of the prettiest waitress he\u2019s ever seen.She smiles like she already knows he\u2019s about to embarrass himself. \u201cRough day?\u201d she asks. \u201cRough enough that I could use something strong,\u201d he replies. She leans forward, puts her hand on the bar and whispers,\u201cOh, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":542,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=552"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":673,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/552\/revisions\/673"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}