{"id":565,"date":"2025-12-17T13:02:05","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T18:02:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=565"},"modified":"2025-12-19T03:44:12","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T08:44:12","slug":"a-man-walks-into-a-coffee-shop-with-a-very-hands-on-menu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=565","title":{"rendered":"A Man Walks Into a Coffee Shop With a Very Hands-On Menu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A man walks into a quiet coffee shop late at night.<br>The only one behind the counter is a busty woman with a sly smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She purrs, \u201cWhat can I get started for you tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He scans the chalkboard:<br>Coffee \u2013 $3<br>Latte \u2013 $5<br>\u201cSpecial Service\u201d \u2013 $15<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He raises an eyebrow.<br>\u201cWhat exactly is the special service?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She leans close, her voice barely a whisper.<br>\u201cIt\u2019s whatever helps you unwind\u2026 with a <em>firm grip<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He smirks.<br>\u201cI\u2019ll take a latte\u2026 and make sure that cup\u2019s extra clean.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man walks into a quiet coffee shop late at night.The only one behind the counter is a busty woman with a sly smile. She purrs, \u201cWhat can I get started for you tonight?\u201d He scans the chalkboard:Coffee \u2013 $3Latte \u2013 $5\u201cSpecial Service\u201d \u2013 $15 He raises an eyebrow.\u201cWhat exactly is the special service?\u201d She [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":566,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-565","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=565"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":669,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/565\/revisions\/669"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/566"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}