{"id":604,"date":"2025-12-17T14:53:33","date_gmt":"2025-12-17T19:53:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=604"},"modified":"2025-12-19T03:42:01","modified_gmt":"2025-12-19T08:42:01","slug":"a-woman-buys-a-mattress-and-learns-it-can-handle-all-her-movement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=604","title":{"rendered":"A Woman Buys a Mattress\u2026 and Learns It Can Handle All Her Movement"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A woman tests out a mattress in the store.<br>A busty saleswoman watches with a smirk and says,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThis model responds to movement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman raises an eyebrow.<br>\u201cLike\u2026 a lot of movement?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She nods.<br>\u201cThrusting. Grinding. Bouncing. It adjusts to pressure \u2014 even rapid pressure.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman smirks and lies back.<br>\u201cI\u2019ll take it. I have a very active sleep schedule.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A woman tests out a mattress in the store.A busty saleswoman watches with a smirk and says, \u201cThis model responds to movement.\u201d The woman raises an eyebrow.\u201cLike\u2026 a lot of movement?\u201d She nods.\u201cThrusting. Grinding. Bouncing. It adjusts to pressure \u2014 even rapid pressure.\u201d The woman smirks and lies back.\u201cI\u2019ll take it. I have a very [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":605,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-604","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=604"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":655,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/604\/revisions\/655"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=604"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=604"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=604"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}