{"id":875,"date":"2025-12-25T19:59:28","date_gmt":"2025-12-26T00:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=875"},"modified":"2025-12-25T19:59:29","modified_gmt":"2025-12-26T00:59:29","slug":"a-man-walks-into-a-beach-bar-and-meets-a-wet-waitress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=875","title":{"rendered":"A Man Walks Into a Beach Bar and Meets a Wet Waitress"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A man steps into a beach bar, sand still between his toes. A sun-kissed waitress in a tied-up bikini top hands him a laminated menu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She leans close. \u201cYou look tense\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He glances up at the chalkboard:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Coconut Water \u2013 $4<br>Fish Tacos \u2013 $10<br>\u201cSandy Hand Release\u201d \u2013 $16<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He chuckles. \u201cYou do the\u2026 release?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She smirks. \u201cOnly with sunscreen and a smile.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He nods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWell lather up \u2014 then bring me the tacos.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man steps into a beach bar, sand still between his toes. A sun-kissed waitress in a tied-up bikini top hands him a laminated menu. She leans close. \u201cYou look tense\u2026\u201d He glances up at the chalkboard: Coconut Water \u2013 $4Fish Tacos \u2013 $10\u201cSandy Hand Release\u201d \u2013 $16 He chuckles. \u201cYou do the\u2026 release?\u201d She [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":876,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-875","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=875"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":877,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/875\/revisions\/877"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/876"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=875"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=875"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=875"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}