{"id":884,"date":"2025-12-25T20:00:38","date_gmt":"2025-12-26T01:00:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=884"},"modified":"2025-12-25T20:00:39","modified_gmt":"2025-12-26T01:00:39","slug":"a-man-walks-into-a-strip-mall-sandwich-shop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=884","title":{"rendered":"A Man Walks Into a Strip Mall Sandwich Shop"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A man walks into a sketchy sub shop in a strip mall. A curvy cashier leans over the counter with a low-cut shirt and a smirk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cWant it toasted?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He scans the board:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>6-Inch Sub \u2013 $5<br>Footlong Combo \u2013 $9<br>\u201cFive-Finger Foot Massage\u201d \u2013 $15<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He smirks. \u201cYou do the five-finger?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She smiles. \u201cAll ten if you\u2019re nice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He says,<br>\u201cWash those hands \u2014 give me the combo.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A man walks into a sketchy sub shop in a strip mall. A curvy cashier leans over the counter with a low-cut shirt and a smirk. \u201cWant it toasted?\u201d she asks. He scans the board: 6-Inch Sub \u2013 $5Footlong Combo \u2013 $9\u201cFive-Finger Foot Massage\u201d \u2013 $15 He smirks. \u201cYou do the five-finger?\u201d She smiles. \u201cAll [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":885,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=884"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/884\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":886,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/884\/revisions\/886"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/885"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}