{"id":959,"date":"2026-02-04T12:13:21","date_gmt":"2026-02-04T17:13:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=959"},"modified":"2026-02-04T12:13:23","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T17:13:23","slug":"my-neighbor-asked-to-borrow-sugar-at-1148-pm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=959","title":{"rendered":"My Neighbor Asked to Borrow Sugar \u2014 at 11:48 PM"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I opened the door half asleep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was wearing my missing hoodie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI think this is yours,\u201d she smiled. \u201cYou left it\u2026 last time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There had never been a last time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She walked in without waiting and looked around like she\u2019d memorized the place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cRelax,\u201d she said softly. \u201cYou\u2019re too tense.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her fingers traced the back of my neck like she\u2019d done it before.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I opened the door half asleep. She was wearing my missing hoodie. \u201cI think this is yours,\u201d she smiled. \u201cYou left it\u2026 last time.\u201d There had never been a last time. She walked in without waiting and looked around like she\u2019d memorized the place. \u201cRelax,\u201d she said softly. \u201cYou\u2019re too tense.\u201d Her fingers traced the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":960,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=959"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/959\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":961,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/959\/revisions\/961"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/960"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}