{"id":965,"date":"2026-02-04T12:14:25","date_gmt":"2026-02-04T17:14:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=965"},"modified":"2026-02-04T12:14:27","modified_gmt":"2026-02-04T17:14:27","slug":"the-bartender-said-my-tab-was-already-paid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/?p=965","title":{"rendered":"The Bartender Said My Tab Was Already Paid"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I hadn\u2019t ordered yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cShe covered it,\u201d the bartender nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The woman at the end of the bar raised her glass slightly \u2014 eyes locked on mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I sat beside her, she said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI like to invest early.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIn what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She smiled. \u201cChemistry with high returns.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then she took my wrist and checked my pulse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cPromising.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I hadn\u2019t ordered yet. \u201cShe covered it,\u201d the bartender nodded. The woman at the end of the bar raised her glass slightly \u2014 eyes locked on mine. When I sat beside her, she said: \u201cI like to invest early.\u201d \u201cIn what?\u201d She smiled. \u201cChemistry with high returns.\u201d Then she took my wrist and checked my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":966,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-965","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=965"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":967,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/965\/revisions\/967"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/966"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=965"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=965"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/themodemuse.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=965"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}